I stood in my living room framed like a speck of dust in the grandeur of the large window and stared out feeling abandoned. I was searching the street for Him. I was waiting for my Hero. I waited all day but He never came. In fact, He never came again. I remember calling His home and talking to His new family and saying, “Tell him goodbye as I know I will never see him again.” My Hero died on that day, giving birth to a new hero—a “Hollow Hero”—me.
I churn with a mixture of rage and deep sadness upon reflection of my life and reliving the toxic feelings I felt as an abandoned four-year-old boy. My arms tingle as the energy overwhelms my spirit just thinking about how anyone, even under the most daunting of circumstances, could walk away, never to return. The only explanation that I can find is that I was not wanted and that circumstances in someone’s life were more important than me. I felt unworthy. I was made into nothing—non-existent. How dare one person have such power over another one, especially when a child is so desperately seeking attachment? Every boy wants a dad. As I gaze at my own son and daughter I am instantly moved to tears as in them I see the best part of me. I see the me that wasn’t abandoned. I see the me who is creating a second chance. I am committed to doing everything in my power to deflect from them the destructive ripple effect that early abandonment had on my life.

This excerpt from my unpublished book highlights the impact of emotional trauma on a young child from early childhood abandonment. Dr Dan Siegel (1999) wrote that “attachment relationships are the major environmental factors that shape the development of the brain . The loss of a key parenting figure ultimately can have a significant and devastating ripple effect on the developmental health of a young person. At the Ripple Effect I work with men and women to heal and untangle these old stories that have often resulted in unhelpful coping mechanisms of” addiction, depression, shame, and workaholism.